how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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