So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
