I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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