there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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