We won't sleep together?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
