New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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