I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
