kristin has been a bad kristin
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
