I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
