like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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