He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
