i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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