Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
