none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
