i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
