the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
