i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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