so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
