Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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