Swine flu. Run for my life!
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i think i have herpe
just one?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
