How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
