first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
