That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
