Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
you never un-have a 4some
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
