just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
