why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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