I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
