how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
