So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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