I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
