I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
