she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
