sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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