I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
