it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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