Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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