Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
