New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
