your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
