Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
