i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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