i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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