I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
As shirtless as possible
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
