She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
