I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
