1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
