I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
