I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
