looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
