Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
