Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
